One step forward, two steps back
July 2nd, 2004 | Posted by Shannon
I saw a bumper sticker today, that said “The Older I Get, the Better I Was.”
Better? Maybe not. But after seeing that, I tried to sort out all the things I once was. What was I before, and what am I now?
Getting older really sucks when you start to think about this shit. Lots of people say, “oh, I am so much happier now that I am older.” OK, sure, but what do you lose, and what do you gain, beyond the losing of the looks/figure and gaining the experience/resume? I, for one, am sorely pissed about the one-chocolate-candy-adding-a-pound-to-my-tummy-problem. But I am way, way more upset, even to the point of tears sometimes, about the loss of my wide-eyedness. The loss of my innocence, if there ever was such a thing.
I sometimes talk myself into that “I am so much happier” thing. So yeah, age can cure you of anxiety and desperation (according to some people.) Maybe, you just stop caring about being emotional all the time. But the bottom line is, there is no such thing as happiness. There are only temporary cures for unhappiness.
Mi dio, how did this all come from a stupid bumper sticker? To be totally honest, this (the there is no such thing as happiness thing) is something I have believed all along. I was never wide-eyed or innocent – I was always old. It all comes down to less stamina and more hangovers. That is the root of the real problem. I’ve got to face that, and move on. Still asking the question, what was I before, and what am I now?
July 3rd, 2004 at 10:07 am
Getting older sucks. Can’t do work all-nighters. Need to sleep. Need to eat. I can count the number of trips to Europe I have left. I probably only have one more major move left (okay, maybe two).
July 3rd, 2004 at 5:50 pm
In re hangovers – I stopped having them after I turned 40. I also quit drinking after I turned 40.
The only place I imbibe is on vacation in Italy and then red wine is my good friend. Why it can’t remain my good friend stateside leaves me puzzled.