Last night, I was at the Vine, hanging out with Mark and Andy, and Brian had to replace a glass of wine for someone because a fly flew in it. So then I had to start talking about a conversation I had recently had there, where other people were talking about how it wasn’t so bad to fish a fly out of a glass of wine and keep drinking it. I was like, that is gross, I wouldn’t drink out of a glass of wine if there was a big ol’ fly in it. (Fruit flies I can deal with. Big ol’ grandpa flies I cannot.) So then, Brian says, “do you know how many bugs you ingest in your lifetime?” Or something like that. And I was like, “yeah, but not huge flies swimming in my glass” or something like that. To which Brian replied, “I bet you don’t walk barefoot on the sidewalk, either, do you?” And I all but roared, “HELL no, I don’t walk barefoot on the sidewalk. That is gross, also, you could step on a rusty nail, and then you would have to get a tetanus shot!”

Brian just looked at me and calmly said, “Shannon, with all that shit you put in your hair, you are probably going to get brain cancer.” Uh. I guess he has a point. There is not much use worrying about a rusty nail when you’ve been plastering your hair with chemicals for a million years. Is there?

So then, today, in the slowtrav chat that I co-host with Marian every week, there was a discussion about bringing wine home from Europe. Due to the new (totally ridiculous) restrictions on bringing liquids in airline cabins, I went out and bought a really big suitcase, so that I can bring home more wine in it. Because I HAVE to bring wine home. Only, in the chatroom, someone I totally respect and trust was like, why are you doing that? You can get wine here. Well, I know I can get wine here, but somehow I just want to get it there. The crazy thing is, I have a feeling that this giant suitcase is going to get to be a bit of a drag. Even though it rolls. I am wondering if I will be cursing it in the end. Especially when there is no elevator. I am strong, and I am not a pussy, but I am going to be moving around a lot. What am I doing? Hmmm.

Oh well, I am all packed now, and maybe I can just treat this as an educational opportunity. As in, my mom can remind me for the rest of my life, “REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAULED THAT UBER-SUITCASE AROUND SPAIN JUST TO BRING HOME FIVE BOTTLES OF WINE?” Maybe I’ll just get brandy, instead. Fundador, like Mike drank in The Sun Also Rises. Oh wait, can you get Fundador here?

Oh well. Like Tim Gunn says, Make it Work. Make it Work. Make it Work.

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