Here we are in Malta. It is pretty fabulous, let me tell you.

Before I get into the fabulousness of Malta, let me tell a little about the journey here. Yesterday the Signora practically kicked us out of the villa right at 10:00 A.M. and so we had many, many hours to kill before our 7:00 P.M. flight to Malta. With a car full of luggage, we couldn’t leave the car alone, so we decided to drive the road that goes around Etna.

This was like several hours of playing chicken with various BMWs, Audis, and even Fiat Pandas. It was totally pazzo. The road is not wide and you’ll be going up a hill and around the corner will fly someone who is PASSING someone. Lisa, now known as “Balls of Steel” Wisniewski, drove. I was very impressed. Thankfully I was sitting in the back seat so when things got too hairy, I could stare at the back of the front seat instead of the road.

At one point, in a small town called Adrano, there was a Mercedes illegally parked on one side of the tiny street, and another, smaller car illegally parked on the other, and cars going each way just centimeters from getting extremely personal with one another. Then down the street comes a fucking semi-truck. Just as we are about to meet with the illegally parked car on our side. We had to get through the space between the truck and the car, and about halfway through all of us simutaneously let out this loud “AAAIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHH.”

But we made it. At one point Lisa yelled, “that guy was passing a COP! I just don’t get it.” There is nothing like getting out of a car after driving the small towns of Sicily for a while.

Eventually we went to a gas station and pounded some savory pastries Colleen had picked up, and thankfully I had a bottle of Etna Blanc and my Riedel O glasses in the back seat, with which to calm my frazzled nerves. I can’t believe I actually drove in Sicily alone once.

So, then to the airport way early where I bought us all some really bad white wines and some cheese puffs to make the wine taste better. They loaded our Air Malta flight really early. Lisa asked if it was indeed, our flight, and the guy said it was. So Lisa asked why they were boarding ahead. “When all the passengers are on, we will leave.” OK then! Make sure not to lag, next time you fly to Malta.

Then, off the flight, we had another hairy ride to the apartment. They drive on the left here, and it’s a “with your front bumper” philosophy in Malta just like it is in Italy. But for some reason we were extra sensitive last night. We were in a van, and after the fourth near-miss with a car or a bus, Lisa said “I am NOT driving here.” No problemo, homegirl.

Finally we made it to our apartment which is totally awesome. It is in an area called St. Julian’s, where there are all kinds of restaurants and bars and a lovely, working port. From our apartment we look out onto the bay and the port and there are two balconies and a nice living room from which to do so. Once again, my apartment rental radar worked out well. I was hoping for Maltese MTV, but I guess there is no such thing, but we do have Italian MTV and already Lisa and Colleen seem to be sort of hooked. Also late last night, I watched that skateboarding show “Extreme.” In of all places, Malta? Hmmm….

Today we walked along the promenade that goes along the sea until you get to a place where, across a bay, you can see the fortified city of Valletta. Along the ocean there is almost uninterrupted crappy architecture. It is so bad, it is kind of riveting. The sea is beautiful and there are many outdoor cafes along the promenade (I am typing this in one, now). All the shops are closed and the bars and restaurants open and busy. I’ve already tried one of the Malta specialties, a little pastry with smashed peas in it. I also ate a Steak and Onion Pie. The Maltese wine… so far, it really needs to have food as an accompanying feature. But it is not too bad. I forced Lisa and Colleen both to haul two bottles of wine over from Sicily. They are going to thank me for this, in the future.

We had some great Greek food last night. In our neighborhood (THE gastronomic center of Malta – who knew?) there is Chinese, Malaysian, Italian, French… even an Indian takeout place. Plus a million pubs. One little problem is the Maltese Lire. One Maltese Lire equals about three dollars. So everything looks really good, like 5 Lire for a bottle of wine. Till you triple it! So I have decided to forget about the dollar and pretend it is all the same. It worked for me with the Euro last week. Sometimes it is good to be a fantasist.

In the Maltese language two Xs makes the sh sound. So, for this week my name XXannon. In fact I may just keep it that way forever.

Love,
XXannon

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 20th, 2005 at 7:05 am and is filed under Tales from a Strange Land. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.